black sheep!!

Well.... it is wrong to make mistakes?

This is a story of someone i know...

She is their first born. She used to be a happy and fun girl. Everyone called her a 'bright girl'. She was adored by everyone. Even her brothers looked up to her...so bright...a straight A student... the one that make her parents proud with all their friends admiring their daughter.... The one that only follow what her parents had planned for her without her following her heart.... So she lived base on reputation....and not her will.

To say it best.....a mistake. One mistake she made...that diverted her from their plans, turned the whole table around.....at least for the mother. she didn't get straight a's for the first time in one big examination. And after that she made a decision to determine her own path. She decided to stop following her parents' plan and start doing what she think is best for herself. For the first time she follow what she wants...her passion.... And that did not seem to be well accepted by her mother. But...she still went for it.

The only problem is that her mother kept on harping on her past examination result. Her mother can't seem to get on and accept that things had changed. That her daughter had moved on with her life and is doing extremely well. As if her daughter is the dumbest person alive and that she is ashamed to tell about her daughter to all her friends and family. Behind all the smile she put on her face, there is always tears and setbacks.

Well honey....i wish you all the best...be strong....and do your best. Prove to your mother and everyone else that you're good too.

1st Semester

Well....it only feels as if like itz only been yesterday that i first stepped into UiTM and a semester had finally finished! God how fast that was....

Anyway.....along my way...I've met a lot of people...some you can call true friends....and some...well, I don't suppose you can even call them friends either. Anyway...everything is all about life experience. It's not only about my mission to get a 4.0 in my studies but also to gain experience in life, meeting new people and to mature myself to the fullest....

My dearest roomates whom I love the most! Nenek...mak...angah...achik...dik su..... God I love you guys! you guys are the best roomates ever!!!! My classmates, Mimie, Kuna, Firah, Ina, Rose, Cna, Trah...and the rest of you...I know itz quite a journey for us...getting to know each other...bonding with each other and all.....I had a great time with all of you...

Anyway guys...thanx so much for coming to my house the other day. had such a great time. well, except for the tiredness, everything was great....hope you guys enjoyed it too and do come again!!!! hehehe

Well, i'll be spending 6 weeks oh holidays at home....trust me..I'm getting bored just within the first week!!! hahaha

anyways....TOODLES!!

Happy Eid Yaw!!!!

HAPPY EID MUBARAK TO ALL MUSLIMS OUT THERE!!!!!

Well.....finally got to wish hari raya to all..... You see....I've been very busy this time around. even though I have this two weeks break for the hari raya...it still seems that it is so short since so much need to be done. Plus, I really need to study for the upcoming finals( so around the corner).

Having the Finals right after the raya celebration doesn't make my raya celebration go so well. I mean, I didn't even go back to my hometown anymore. Just celebrate it here, in my house. I missed the old times....when arwah tok and tok wan were still alive. Raya felt so alive when they were still here. I missed them....sigh...Anyway.....'duit raya' seems to become lesser every year! URGH!!! what a disappointment.... This is one of the things I hate about growing up.... But still... love the dishes during the raya celebration....itz everywhere!!!!!

But then again....I can only really have 2 days to celebrate raya....then, its off to work, STUDY!!!!

i know that I really need to get four flat in this exam....coz I know what I want and need . Dear God....help me through this....guide me all the way....and give me your blessings.....

TOODLES!!!!

MERDEKA!!!

Happy birthday to you....

happy birthday to you....

happy birthday to MALAYSIA....

happy birthday to you....

It is the Malaysia's Independence day celebration....

I had my own way of celebrating it....

with the one I love that is....

After class...went out to watch the waited 'STEP UP 3 3D'......

It was really cool ...

The moves were mind blowing...

For dance lovers like me will definitely love to see the revolution in the dance world....

Then, it was time to break fast....

Well....we had some kind of misunderstanding on where to eat...

But I'm not gonna write it down here....

But eventually I got to break fast with my whole beloved classmates....

Next will be i-city....

ooo.....The first thing that I notice is that they don't collect entrance fees for that night!

I mean how cool is that....Just days before that they still collect RM5 per entry...

And the first thing I saw upon arriving there was that there was a concert and oh my... Mawi was performing along with a veteran singer Ramli Sarip...

Then there was speeches given by the Selangor MB's and I can assure you that it was darn boring!!!!

Anyways..... I finally got the devil's horn that I wanted...

Well....basically Azwan got it too coz he's the real devil...hehehehe( don't get mad honey)

Then we waited for the fireworks....

And I actually recorded the fireworks for only the second half because it was beautiful....

Hahaha....we went back after the fireworks ended...

Next....its all around Shah Alam I guess.....

To McDonalds....Uptown...

I didn't get any memories on where we were coz I was already half way asleep by then...

Then...we finally got our sahur at McD...

After that it's sleeping time again...

hahaha

At the end of it....

I really love spending time with my sayang.....

I will never get tired of him in any possible way....

I love him so much!!!!!!

an outburst

It really is sickening when a person whom you thought is really your friend would turn his back on you. Its true I can't give you what you want in the first place and I am sorry. But you know it very well the reason why I can't give you what you want because I really love him and not you.

I really am happy that you have finally found someone that is for you. But I am really damn sick when you really turn your back on your priorities.... You should know better who got you into this. i gave you the chance, the opportunity. Don't you shut me out because I was the one who got you into this. This is really freaking annoying!! It is really surprising that a genius smarty pants like you to actually behave like this. I guess I didn't know you well enough do i?

Whatever it is.....I would still like to remind you what your priorities are.
here, you still have a team that needs you. the freaking competition is next week and the team kinda needs the captain to work this out! This is really not about yourself you know.....there are another four person in the team. Plus, I am your freaking partner! How are we suppose to work hand in hand when we don't even communicate with each other and I don't even know what you are doing!!! This is really unacceptable and selfish of you!!

You know, I really do hope that you can get your head in the game! because even if you really don't give a damn about this, well fyi, the rest of us do!!!

I looked up to the sky, and wondered was it here or not? Me heart beated increased...heart pounded a rock and roll tune. Waited for this moment to arrive...

Ramadhan...how i've missed you over the year... And here you are again...visiting me and the whole Muslim community. The food and bazaar...the terawih....
All that came with you...

And this year, you come and visit me in a different situation. For the past five years, you visited me in my school....accompanying me for a month. Now, i'm here, in the tertiary level...no more spoon feeding.....everything on my own... Starting to learn how to REALLY live life...hehehe

Anyways, I do really apologize for not going for terawih as often as i used to. Well, with all the work load and the hectic time-table, I just can't seem to perform it. Whenever I can, than I'll surely perform it.

I hate it when I get all this sickness. And being told that I can't follow you is really unacceptable. You're only here for a month and I will never leave you based on this silly matter.

Anyway, I intend to make the best out of your visit. hehe... enjoying the food and the feast!!!! woohoo!!!
hahaah....so long!

My new stuff!

I should have just thanked the All Mighty for all the blessing...a great family, great friends and a wonderful boyfriend..
My mom has just got back from a trip to Bandung and Jakarta with all her sisters and aunt. Trust they all had a great time judging by all the stuff she bought and all the photos. When I came back, I was literally shocked to see my room turned into a store room...with all the plastic bags,boxes...and all those other stuff she bought. Nevertheless, I was grateful that my mum bought me loads of stuff...
I got a Prada handbag, shawls, pashminas, telekungs, shirts and above all, a wig( i didn't even know what to do with it...never actually used one, what else own one....
hahaha...what a joke ehh...
Anyways...got so much ahead of me...with my inter-parts coming up, overloading assignments, and so much more... really need to find a way to manage my time.....I really do hope I can do that plus, have fun while doing it....

so above all.....I am thankful for everything I have. Not to say that whatever I have now is totally awesome...it's just moderate but enough for me...and I'll try to make the best out of it.....Insyaallah...

that will be it for now....
toodles!!!

1 month.....

Hmm....
It has been more than a month since my first day stepping into UITM..
So many things that I've learned and more to come....There's ups and downs just like the hills here...haha

Knowing more new people everyday is nice...but loosing them just hurts deep down...I know it has only been a month we know each other...but friendship..the strong bond formed between us has grew very strong in a month... all the laughter, the gossips, the stupid things we do together just drew us closer each day....so, when one of my friend, Ajie left for her scholarship and going to another college, it hit us really hard....especially those close to her...most people will say it's cliche, but loosing someone close to you just hurts so much....thinking that I didn't even to see her for the last time before she went off...just makes me cry...
oh well...That's just how things go i guess....And I have no say about it....

Well...with Ajie's leaving...the old students are back....and the place is like really packed! Seriously, the traffic in here, is worst than the one's you can find on the highways...jeez...and the amount of students living in campus is like thousands.....seriously!!!!!

My faculty is like way packed then before...Degree and foundation join together in limited and restricted area...fuhh....what a cramped place it is.....so..my class is still going on as usual...just that more assignments coming on the way....getting busy getting things done on time...

Am still excited to find out what else is there to learn....my journey is still long.....so many things are ahead of me right now....hehe...guess I need to focus on what I need to deal at the moment right...sigh...

well...that's all for now...till den...

Song of my life

In life, there's always the past, present and of course the future.....
This tale is to be told when life gets hard on you....

A heart...so sensitive..contains so much love, plenty to give away...a heart that cares about everyone around her..a heart that wishes everyone in this word would be happy...at least everyone around her would....


But no one knows that this small heart bruises easily....A heart that won't tell anyone it is hurting deep down...A heart that keeps too many secrets.....A heart that ached too many times.....A heart that not many have touched......A heart that carves a smile on the lips but cries deep down below....A heart with strong titanium doors with a gazillion locks guarded tightly....to those who wish to enter....only a pure heart with a pure intentions can enter...even that sometimes in not enough....

Fate...Destiny...things no one knows how they work....we just need to go with the flow..i guess....we just need to do our best..and let fate takes us from there...

Feelings...just one of the things we can't control in life...yes we can avoid..but then we will be living in denial for the rest of our life right....hurm...i wonder..when will i be right with them...

Life...just puzzles in our daily routine...never fair and always disappointing...but what can we do except make the best out of it right....I guess...living life is what we need to do now...How we r going to do that is what matters...

The song of my life will continue playing with different tunes until the day where the notes have finally come to the end.....

First chapter

So much to learn in such a short time. And so many people in such a small place. The world's keep spinning and our lives keep moving in a great pace that we seldom realize that time passes so quickly. So many things that we missed and we don't even realize it. Here, I've met new and old friends that just adds up to my life journal. And some have become so close without we realizing it.. My dear classmates, Mimiey, Ina, Fira, Rina, Mas, Kuna, Fara, Fai and all of you guys that I didn't mention, it is great to get to know you guys even it has only been our second week here. I have so much fun with you guys.

And there is the mighty Azim....haha...all the laughter I had spending time with you is way over board....You keep my head go and spin constantly trying debating with you...haha...even most of the times I'll listen to all your amazing knowledge about everything...haha...

I'm looking forward to facing a real campus life here. Surrounded by great friends and companion seems to make it more exciting.....( I hope so)...haha

So let it begin...
The first chapter of a new diary.....

Immaturity of Our People

It has been a week since my life as a university begun. I am now one step closer in achieving my dreams. Life in university where it so free and nobody is there to look for you is very challenging. There are a lot of temptations that needs to overcome or else you will be drifted far away. Living in a residential school for 5 years has prepared me for my studies but not for the university life. In school, everything has been scheduled for the students to follow. As a student, all there is to do is to follow the schedule and ace the exams. Tutorial and extra classes are given and it is made compulsory to each student. Everything we do in school is monitored and controlled. Teachers are there spoon feeding the students so they will ace their exams. But not necessarily be independent or matured in life. In university, even if you have excellent SPM results, not necessarily you can survive the challenging life. Here, you can see that only the matured students can excel. There had been a lot of cases where excellent SPM holders, flunked in their studies which resulted being dropped by the universities. And what saddened me the most is that most of them are from my own people, the Malays. The immaturity of our people has caused a lot of trouble to our own people. That is why Malays are being left out in almost all sectors in Malaysia right from education to business. We cannot blame other races if they demand to be given more access to the privileges given to the Malays and Bumiputera because they have proved that they can do better then the Malays and Bumiputeras. So now we need to think back and figure out what we are lacking of and start to mend those loopholes. We need to have more intellectuals among our people like we used to have like Tun Mahathir Muhammad and Tunku Abdul Rahman. These are the people who can help to built up our people which is now so left behind in our own country.

EDU system??

If you ask me, our nation's education system is not on the top notch yet. We have so much of plans and it keeps changing before we cane even see the results..Before we have cluster schools and now we have high prestigious schools...when we look back at the criteria of these so called 'special school', both are the same..and a lot of school has gained both the titles...It is really not necessary to give double incentives to these schools...some even has dropped their performance in both education and co-curriculum. Then we implement English language in the Science subjects so that our students can increase their fluency in the language..but not even 10 years of implementing it fully, the Ministry of Education has decided to change back into using Bahasa Malaysia. We haven't even see the outcome of what we have implemented earlier, and we have taken a drastic decision to change it back? It seems to me that our education system is not really stable as what people may think.. What most of our people look up to is how many A's a person can score in their exams... But we have neglected to look and access a person pending on their level of maturity...For this, I would say I look up to the education system in the UK because most of the good universities there, access student based on their level of maturity apart from their excellent academic background. This is how an all rounder person is created...by not only has good brains, but also has a matured mind....we may be a first world thinker...but we are the third world implementer...

blame who????

The recent headlines that had caught almost everybody's attention about the teen who had been shot dead a policeman after allegedly trying to escape from a patrol car. After a full investigation has been made, it was found that the policeman whose record was clean was guilty of causing the death of the fifteen year-old boy. We all know how a mother's feeling when loosing a child in such a tragic way...but it is not fair to put all the blame on the policeman himself considering the fact that he was only trying to do his job...admitting that while doing his duty, he did make a mistake resulting the death of the boy, but when we look back...the blame also falls on the family of the victim too....it the responsible of the parents themselves to monitor their children...letting their underage son to drive a car without license at 2 o'clock in the morning does not seem to be a good parent to me....and to think about it...if the parents did their role as parents by not permitting their son to take the car keys and leave in the first place...then none of this would happen....the policeman was just merely doing his duty...at least he was doing his responsibility....the issue of asking the policeman to apologize to the parents is not relevent....the policeman had already received his punishment for the mistake he did during duty is enough.... there's no need to apologize to the family of the victim considering the fact that it was not entirely his fault... The parents should realize their their fault and stop blaming the policeman 100%.....and stop making this case as an political issue....we should be glad that our law enforcements are doing their job....would we rather them just sit around and don't care at all? maybe they lack of fire arms practice...but they still know their responsibility rather then those who let their kids drive the car without license late at night.....

Mistakes???

In life, its fine for you to make mistakes...because that is what life is really about...a place or a medium for you to learn, make mistakes and learn from it...or else how do you even have experience right? Others might scold or yell at you...but at least you learn...thats what matters... I did many mistakes in my 18 years of existence but i gained more knowledge from it... Sometimes falling down can be a good thing in life when you are always at the top.... It gives you somethig to think about....It makes you to stop for a moment and think back and figure out what the problem was....and take it as a reminder to yourself not to repeat it next time....so at theend of the day... making mistakes is fine...as long as you know what it is and don't ever repeat it again...( at least not on purpose)